Stiff Upper Lip - not all it's cracked up to be

It is understandable that comments made by Princes William and Harry in the last few days should make news headlines. There are occasions when celebrity status can be used in a positive way to highlight issues of concern to all of us, no matter what our social status.

What worries me though, is that the plight of adult males struggling with mental health issues caused by bereavement and grief, along with other problems such as abuse and addiction, has been well documented over many years, yet little is still being done to provide the necessary support.

The anguish and mental torment such men experience can often lead to suicide. I know this only too well from personal experience. My own brother, an alcoholic suffering from manic depression, could not cope with the death of his son aged 21 in a car accident, subsequently ending his own life. The impact of this had a knock of effect in relation to his own family, including me.

Thankfully organisations such as Samaritans are well used to dealing with those in acute distress. As a listening volunteer, it seems to me that many people turn to Samaritans when they feel unable to pour their hearts out to family, friends or colleagues, primarily because of the need to maintain a ‘stiff upper lip’ in public. In many cases callers are well aware of the problems they are experiencing, but feel helpless, and hopeless, in dealing with them alone. Whilst Samaritans provides a confidential non-judgemental listening ear, what these men really need is professional help, which is just not available. This is the real problem.

Samaritans training is second to none. I find that I can listen to some of the most harrowing calls in an objective way, but I still find it difficult to remain detached when I hear a grown man sobbing on the phone. Compassion and empathy cost nothing, just time and effort in trying to understand how others are feeling.