Monday, 10 March 2014

Russia v. Ukraine - Conflict Resolution

As the world holds its breath in the midst of the current conflict in Ukraine, and with Russia’s involvement in Crimea, we seem to be on the verge of yet another international battle for supremacy.
It has given me pause for thought over the futility of war; the cost, not just in terms of innocent lives lost, but also the economic, social and environmental impact.
I’m a great proponent of the view that once we have fulfilled our own basic needs, such food, water, shelter, and access to health and education, we should then look to help others. This is fundamental to our survival and progress as a human race, and I believe it applies equally well in an international arena, as well as closer to home, within the local community and in personal relationships.
I often find myself, either at work or the wider context, involved in conflict resolution. It is something I enjoy, because although in dealing with the vagaries of human emotions nothing is guaranteed, there is some sense of satisfaction where amicable agreement can be reached.
This does of course require willingness on both sides to communicate, and to compromise. This can be difficult where both sides feel they are in the right, and in some cases will resort to unhand activity to coerce others into taking their side of the argument. This attempt at manipulation is an understandable human trait, if not an altogether pleasant one, and we see evidence of it daily in the media.
However, to win at all costs only results in winners and losers, and it is this sense of failure on one side, and the smug ‘I told you so’ attitude of the winner, that harbours resentment, in some cases allowing it to fester into an overwhelming desire for revenge; all very destructive, time consuming and costly. I know this only too well; I’ve been there to my cost.
Nowadays I am able to take a more pragmatic view and apply many of the techniques I use in my daily activity as a customer service and sales trainer. Not only is it necessary to have a clear, well-defined objective for the outcome of any conflict but more importantly, to consider things from the other’s point of view. Very often it is misunderstanding and poor communication that is the cause of the conflict and despite any assertion that one side is right, it does take two to argue. It may well be that a conversation, a letter or an e-mail has caused offence, instigating a dispute from which neither side is willing to back down.
I am mindful that in all communication the onus is on the person emitting the message to take responsibility for its effect on the recipient. Causing offence may not have been the intention but may well be the result. As well all know, some people are quick to take offence. We can’t take back things we’ve said or done but sometimes all it takes to resolve a situation is an acknowledgement that however unwittingly one or other party has caused offence or injury to the other.
This shouldn’t be a big deal, and I think it takes the bigger person to be the first to offer the olive branch. However, this can only be done when both sides approach the problem from a position of willingness to negotiate and with a clear intention to reach an outcome satisfying both sides.
Just imagine all of the time and energy we could save, in which we can all pursue more pleasurable pursuits, making us all much happier people, and in turn less likely to be the cause of conflict. As renowned author Stephen Covey would say, ‘Begin With The End In Mind’ and ‘Think Win-Win’. Not such a daft idea at all.

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