New Malden Deaths

n the wake of the tragic deaths of the three young children this week, in what was deemed to be a quiet, affluent neighbourhood, will of course have been a shock to many, and a reminder that money has no respect for feelings.

Whilst investigations continue, there is no doubt in my mind that as news is released about the particular circumstances leading up to this, that the poor mother will have been pushed to the end of her tether, just unable to continue.

Those of us living alone, when times get tough, can, if we choose, hide under the duvet for a day or so and hope it will all go away, and rely on the support of friends and family to get us over the worst.

In my own work with disabled children and adults I am well aware of the pressures that parents and other family members can be put under when having to deal with the consequences of caring for someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is relentless and never ending; not something you can put to one side if you’re having an off-day or don’t feel too good yourself.

The family’s entire lives, including those of the older daughter, would have been dictated constantly by the needs of these wee ones.

In this case, where the children are believed to have had a life-limiting genetic condition, leaving them with little or no control over their movements, the problem would have been exacerbated by the fact that there was not just one, but three to cope with and care for, in addition to the fact that her husband was often away on business. It is little wonder then that this situation developed.

Whilst I’m not one for knocking health services unnecessarily, what I would like to know is what could have, and should have been done, to prevent this happening. With ever decreasing funding levels, and the added pressures on all of us, the increase in stress levels is a foregone conclusion, as the services that should be in place to support families in this kind of situation are woefully inadequate.

It is something we see increasingly at Samaritans and, whilst the listening service provided is life-saving and invaluable to many, there can be no substitute for early intervention and practical support from professionals.  

As much as we may mourn the truly distressing deaths of these three toddlers, the mother, and the rest of her family, will have to live with the consequences of her actions, where the long term effects will in all likelihood be equally devastating. My heart goes out to them all.