It is no secret to anyone that knows me that I’ve been in the market for a man for some time. Whilst very independent, I believe that having a significant other in one’s life has a multitude of tangible benefits. In my search for the illusive shining knight on a white horse I have explored all means open to me, including internet dating sites, many and varied.
It was not without interest therefore, that I happened to catch sight of a recent interview with a woman this week, of a similar age to myself, who had been targeted on the internet, and ‘groomed’, before being lulled into parting with her hard earned cash as part of an increasingly prevalent scam. Sadly, this is not the first time I have heard of stories of a similar vein.
I would never describe myself as gullible or naive, but it did hit a raw note, where the scenario was alarmingly similar to one I almost became a victim of only a few weeks ago, when I discovered that I had also been well and truly groomed.
The grooming took place over a period of six months, where after making initial contact and exchanging photographs and a few details about our lives, I’d receive an email once every week or so. Like the other women that I’ve since heard of, the story was a plausible one; he had been widowed five years ago, lived in Lucan, and as a construction engineer he was currently working abroad in Malaysia, and was due to return at the end of August. So far, so good. The messages were all above board, friendly and pleasant. Being a fairly suspicious type I noted that not long after we began communicating via our personal emails he was no longer to be found on the dating site. Not that unusual, and when I questioned it, he replied that there was no need any longer as he thought he’d found the woman of his dreams, to which my repost was something along the lines of ‘don’t be so daft’. When I asked for more specific details as to his planned return, he responded by saying that the project had been held up and that he had been asked to stay on to rectify sub-standard work carried out by another contractor. Then, over the August bank holiday weekend I had an email asking if I would accept some money from Canada into my bank account ($32,000 it transpired) to pay for additional materials, with the explanation that he had no access to his account from there. That was when the alarm bells rang loud and clear and I immediately called the police. To my surprise they weren’t at all interested, and I then spent a fruitless weekend trying to contact all and sundry to follow this up, all the while trying not to alert the man in question, playing him along to maintain contact in case he could be traced. Not a bit of it. The fraud office only wanted to know whether or not I felt threatened, and whilst logging my call, they were not going to do anything else and said they did not have contact with other crime agencies. The National Crime Agency’s website for reporting suspicious activity was out of action and no-one was there to speak to at their office. A call to the police commissioner’s office also proved fruitless. So, I gave up, having come to the conclusion that in this country, unless you are a father wanting to remove your child from hospital for treatment abroad, investigation of criminal activity only takes place between 9-5, Monday to Friday.
Being fairly street-wise I’m very lucky not to be daft enough to fall for such a con, but there are many out there who, feeling lonely and susceptible to influence, will allow themselves, almost consciously, to be lulled into thinking that the person piling on the endearments genuinely cares for them. The problem is that those who fall victim to these vile people who target the vulnerable are often too embarrassed to admit it to anyone. This problem is not confined to women; I know of several men who have also fallen prey to such activity. In my case, if I were ever in a position to locate the person in question, I would have no qualms in dealing with them. Whilst the main focus of our attention is quite rightly on protecting children who are targeted in this way, usually for sexual reasons, the lesson for me has been that when it comes to illegal activity, thanks to the internet, it is now a case of no holds barred, and we cannot depend on others to protect us.
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