Robin Williams & Suicide

In the wake of the news of the tragic death of Robin Williams this week, the media have been actively seeking interviewees to discuss the issues surrounding what it is that makes people of his ilk feel that life is so desperate that it is no longer worth living.

What has been reinforced is that depression is no respecter of class, fame or income. It will seem incomprehensible to those viewing pictures of his palatial home on their TV screens, that someone who seemingly on the surface has everything could feel so miserable and downcast.

Many of us will have had times when we’ve felt down in the dumps at some point during our lives. The causes can be as varied as the people it affects; health, work, money, relationships. In most cases once the crisis has passed, the challenges overcome, feelings of despondency will pass. Clinical depression however, is an invidious illness. It impacts not just on those in its iron grip but can also have a profound impact on families, friends and colleagues. It is relentless in its hold on the mental state of those afflicted, overwhelming all attempts at positive thought.

The main cause of premature death amongst men in their 50s is suicide and long before we felt comfortable with open public discourse about such issues, Winston Churchill admitted to severe bouts of what he referred to as his ‘Black Dog’. In his case he coped, as many do, excessive drinking. There is a proven connection between feelings of inadequacy and despair in trying to cope with difficult situations, and the tendency to turn to drugs and alcohol as a way of coping; a better turn of phrase might be to escape or hide from it. It is when the cold reality of sobriety kicks in again there is the realisation that nothing has changed; the relentless search for relief, in whatever form, begins again.

Both my mother and brother, diagnosed with manic depression, suffered the same way for years, taking their own lives, albeit 30 years apart. In both cases they didn’t really want to die; what they wanted to happen was to find a permanent release from their tortured mental state.

Women have always found it easier to talk about problems and to seek solutions from whatever source is available; in many cases this may be through a strong network of friends. For men, the admission of having to deal with something they do not feel fully equipped to cope with can be an admission of failure; and one they are not ready to own up to.

Samaritans listen to countless calls from those in the depths of depression. What these callers often need most is professional help, but this is in woefully short supply as financial cutbacks are being felt across all sectors of the NHS. It is no surprise therefore that Samaritans is often their only source of support. Talking about problems to an anonymous third party, who will not criticise or judge, can be a powerful tool in helping those with depression think through things themselves, often discovering their own solutions. Samaritans is not just for those who are suicidal. What is a much more important part of the continued work they do is to form part of the vital early intervention and prevention process, giving much needed support before life really does get so bad, where there seems no other alternative but to end it.

Many official organisations signpost callers to Samaritans as the first port of call; often the only option in a time of emotional need, where statutory services operate on a 9 to 5 basis, at best. The need for support when in distress cannot be dictated to by normal office hours.

Much has been made of Robin Williams’ ability to make others laugh. There is considerable evidence that those who spend their lives entertaining others and making them laugh often do so as a foil to hide their own misery; Tony Hancock is one example of this.  

What we can all try to learn from this is that those in the grip of mental turmoil need time and understanding to come to terms with how they are feeling, to be given encouragement in the face of adversity to believe that they can pull though. In this world of uncertainty, sometimes it is not those closest to them that are necessarily best placed to help to them find the solution.

I am reminded of the lyrics on this Diana Ross song....

Reach out and touch somebody's hand
Make this world a better place, if you can ......
Just try, take a little time out of your busy day .....
To give encouragement to someone who's lost the way
We can change things, if we start giving ......