Tuesday, 24 December 2013

THE LAST ROLO

How much d’yer luv me, son?”
Lots and lots mum. Course. Why?”
I’m jus’ dyin’ fer a bit o’ chocolate luv.”
Ain’t there any in the cupboard?”
No luv, I’ve already looked. There’s none left. And no money to get any until I get me benefit on Monday. Can’t I ‘ave one of yer Rolos?”
Aw mum, I’ve only got one left.”
Oh go on, yer know how much I like Rolos. I gave yer me last one yesterday.”
Yeh, but mum, I said I’d help wiv the washing up. An’ I did.”
I know, yer did luv but I’m just desperate for some chocolate. I’ve ‘ad a really bad day. I’d give anyfin’ fer that Rolo.”
What, anyfin’? Yer really mean that mum?”
Yeh. Course I do. Anyfin’’”
What about a puppy then?”
Oh luv. Yer know we can’t ‘ave a puppy ‘cos the landlord won’t let us. Besides, we couldn’t afford ter feed it.. ‘Specially now they’ve cut our benefits. We talked about this before. I’d luv ter get yer a puppy. Yer know I would if I could.”
But yer said I could ‘ave anyfin’ I wanted and I wan’ a puppy.”
Well, what about a kitten then? We could hide that easy enuf.”
Nah. I hate cats. I wan’ a puppy. One like Damien’s got.”
Well, once we move out of here I promise I’ll get yer a puppy. Promise. Are yer sure there’s nuffin’ else yer want? Wha’ about a toy one fer now, like Scooby-Doo or summat?”
Nah. It won’t be like a real one. Not the same. If I can’t ‘ave a puppy can I ‘ave a Playstation then?”
Oh luv, do yer know ‘ow expensive they is?”
Well, yer did say I could ‘ave anyfin’. Didn’t yer?”
I know son. I know. How about we go ter the car boot next weekend and see if we can get a Playstation there? Secondhand like. I reckon we could afford that?”
It won’t be the same, will it? What if it don’t work?”
Well luv it’s all we could afford. Or maybe we could look in the paper for one. There’s always stuff like that fer sale. Go on, pass the paper over, we’ll ‘ave a look now.”
Alrigh’ then. If yer sure.”
Course I’m sure luv. Now PLEASE can I have yer Rolo?”
OK. ‘Spose yer can. As long as I get me Playstation mind.”
Ta luv. Yer a right angel you are. Luv yer.”

TWO WEEKS LATER

Mum, how much do yer luv me?”

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