MY VIEW - BULLYING – it's no joke

As a strong minded, opinionated person, I've never given bullying much thought, until now.

Someone tried, and I mean 'tried' to bully me recently. I didn't give in, but nonetheless the experience was distressing and disturbing. We often read of examples of women being bullied or harassed, which is much the same thing, by male work colleagues, or even their spouses or partners; the tragic consequences of children and young people bullied by peers at school, often because they do not fit in with the crowd.

One in six people will at some point experience bullying in the workplace; it is more prevalent than sexual or racial harassment, and particularly in the nursing profession.

The use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others, usually with a view to the bully attempting to gain a position of power, can be emotional, verbal, or physical. It can develop in any situation where people interact with each other; and can be in any environment.

The clear intention of the bully is to inflict injury or discomfort upon another person, either by physical contact, verbally or in other more subtle ways; it can be direct, or indirect.

The perpetrator in my case was attempting to do so indirectly, by the use of their sub-ordinates, to undermine, discredit and isolate me.

I know full well why they took such action. Much of my working life is spent scrutinising and challenging performance standards, and whilst I pride myself on my objectivity people do get defensive if they feel that as a result of their own poor performance their position and future is threatened.

This is often done indirectly, by non-violent behaviour; openly criticising the other person (but not to their face), spreading gossip, misconstruing information, excluding the victim, and exerting pressure on others to behave in a similar way.

Key motivators for bullies can be envy and resentment; it can also be used as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self-esteem: by demeaning others, the abuser feels empowered.
Bullying is a negative act by negative people. Research indicates that adults who bully have authoritarian personalities, and a strong need to control or dominate, with a prejudicial view of subordinates.

In 85% of cases of bullying bystanders are involved, with the attempt to create the illusion that the bully has support of the majority. The tactic here is to prevent anyone speaking out or challenging the behaviour for fear of the effect on themselves. This is turn allows the cycle to continue.

In my particular case, it was the presence of a supportive 'friendship' group that prevented the bully from gaining control.

The reason I raise this now, apart from my own recent experience, is that research has shown a strong link between bullying, an increased level of stress, and a heightened risk of suicide. Those who have been the targets of bullying can suffer from long term emotional behavioural problems; feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
It is estimated that between 15 and 25 children commit suicide every year in the UK alone, because they are being bullied. As a Samaritan I hear cases of this all the time, from both adults and children who are so traumatised they feel that their life is not worth living.

I'm lucky in that I am strong and have the support of others but until we stand up to bullies this invidious threat to society will continue. Easier said than done, but we can all start by becoming one of the bystanders who alerts someone rather than ignoring the situation.